Robin Williams Quotes

1. No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.


2. I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.


3. Death is nature's way of saying: "Your table is ready."

4. Politics: "Poli" a Latin word meaning "many"; and "tics" meaning "bloods*cking creatures".



5. The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

6. (on his role in "The Fisher King") Parry is a man with a previous life that was so damaged that he had to create another personality…It's like post-traumatic stress syndrome: Some people respond to traumatic or tragic events by withdrawal; some even create other personalities. Parry is a creation - somewhat Don Quixote, somewhat Groucho Marx - but he's a creation designed to avoid a past event.

7. If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

8. I'd like to start the show by showing you something I'm very proud of. You'll have to step back, though.




9. Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

10. Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.

11. There'd be those nights when you do cocaine and you'd be like: "I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE!". And then you'd wake up the next morning: "I didn't die! Let's try it again."

12. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a p..., and only enough blood to run one at a time.

13. Carpe per diem - seize the check.

14. Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

15. Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

16. (to troops in Iraq) I'm looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I'm telling myself: "if you're not funny, it's a problem".

17. You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.

18. The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.



19. You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.


20. I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

21. Ah, yes, divorce…from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

22. You can start any "Monty Python" routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

23. If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

24. I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.

25. When I was drinking there was only one time, where even for a moment, I thought: "F**k life." But then even my conscience brain went, did you really just say f**k life? You know you have a pretty good life as it is right now. Have you noticed the two houses? Yes. Have you noticed the girlfriend? Yes. Have you noticed that things are pretty good, even though you may not be working right now? Yes.

26. Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

27. (while accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for "Good Will Hunting") Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said: "Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding."

28. (about "Popeye") If you watch it backwards, it has a plot.

29. When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers: "Can I use a lifeline?"

30. I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

31. Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.




32. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.

33. Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.

34. And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go: "Hey, here's a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!"




35. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

36. I believe I could do dance on ice, or play in a musical of Freud's life called "It's Your Mother" - or maybe one for the symbolists: "Jung at Heart". There's always the one about India: "The Gandhi Man Can".

37. I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.



38. I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.



39. Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

40. A nuclear bomb is a man's way of saying: "I'm gonna f… up the earth." A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while...That's why there should be a woman president, there would never be any wars. You know this, it's the truth. There would never be a war; just every twenty-eight days: some severe negotiations.

41. Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

42. Comedy is acting out optimism.

43. The idea of having a steady job is appealing.


44. In the dictionary under redundant it says see redundant.


45. The demons are still there. The little voice saying: "You're garbage, you're nothing, you hear me, yeah"…he's still there, believe me."

46. Spring is nature's way of saying: "Let's party!"

47. I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.



48. We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

49. I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

50. I would like to do for you now, a Japanese science fiction movie: "Attack of the Killer Vibrators."


51. Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

52. They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.

53. Before I go on, I want to ask if there are any Hell's Angels here tonight? (no response)…Those pussy-whipped faggots! 

54. I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.

55. You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

56. God gave men both a p... and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

57. I would like to do Shakespeare's only unknown piece, That's the Way I Lick It…It's a bleak night my Lord. Look! The moon like a testicle hangs low in the sky. This bodes not well…Anon, post-haste, let's get a larger crowd in here. Free Cocaine! There's no luck. Does anyone have drugs to ease my pain? My Kingdom for a Quaalude!…It is the end! I must go, for I cannot come here, and yet, it has been brief, tis over, and the lights do turn bright. I'm melting! Help me! Help me!

58. Reality: What a concept!

59. Countering the complaint that the juiciest roles go to younger actors: "They (the roles) may not be financially enriching, but personally enriching? Yes. You are no longer under pressure. You don't have to prove yourself on some levels, but you do have to (creatively) push yourself.

60. I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.





61. What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

62. Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

63. And then that voice - I call it the "lower power" - goes: "Hey. Just a taste. Just one." I drank it, and there was that brief moment of "Oh, I'm OK!", but it escalated so quickly. Within a week I was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street."

64. You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.

65. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

66. We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like "We have to get rid of dictators," but he's pretty much one himself.

67. When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

68. It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, (the alcohol) will ease the fear. And it doesn't…It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety.

69. Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it "all the money," but they changed it to "alimony." It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.

70. In America they really do mythologize people when they die.




71. People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

72. It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like: "Wow." Because you have that initial warm feeling going: "Oh, I remember this". And your body does, too. And your body goes: "Yeah, so do I". Then the demon voice comes: "Yeah, so do I. You know what would be great? You know we bought a little bottle before? A full bottle would be wonderful". 

73. (on his acting career) All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.


74. When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

75. The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying: "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and yelling: "You want a piece of me?"

76. Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

77. Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

78. Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is "You want fries with that?"



What do you think of Robin Williams quotes?


Feel free to comment and share this blog post if you find it interesting!