George Lopez Quotes

1. My wife gave me a book before we got married, Oh, the Places You'll Go!, by Dr. Seuss. She was trying to tell me something, about what I was capable of, but I didn't get it. Over time, I've sort of lived the message in that book, and I couldn't have without what golf taught me. So I put it in my bag while I played the Old Course, and on the last hole when I posed on the Swilcan Bridge, I held it up.


2. There's no one I admire more than Lee. To be Mexican-American at a time when our culture was really invisible, and to slay the best golfers in the world with a homemade, "freehand" swing, which is such a Mexican thing, and for me to see that with the big eyes of a kid, as a lot of young kids connect success to Tiger, I connect my success to Lee. It turned out we both grew up knowing what it's like to be alone, we both learned how to mask some of that by being funny, and now to know him and love him, and have him love me more than anyone from my own upbringing, to have him call me "My boy," man, that's it.



3. I believe that there are certain things that could be taken care of that you don't need a strong political background in.


4. I think it's easier for African American and white comics to be praised than it is Latinos because they think our culture or our humor is substandard…I mean, I just don't think they want to give us credit. I just don't think that they see us as important enough to be at their level…I'm the longest-produced comedy at Warner Bros and I don't feel special. They come over and say hello. But everybody's gonna make a lot of money and I don't feel like I'm special to them.

5. Life is moments going by, but if you don't grab them, they're gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.

6. It was June 4, 1979, the first time I went on stage. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.

7. I grew up with nothing and nobody ever told me I could do anything. I never knew my father, and my mother wasn't the best, most stable person. My grandparents raised me, and my grandmother never really connected with me. I just had a home. So I was kind of left to my own self. When I found out that nobody had ever graduated from high school in our family, I wanted to be the first one to graduate. By the time I was 11, I wanted to be a comedian. So all those years later, I've managed to achieve my dream as a kid, and it wasn't easy. I'm on the Walk of Fame and I'm one of the 25 most influential Hispanics in America, according to Time Magazine. I think my duty is to go back and tell kids: "Whatever color you are, wherever you come from, anything and everything is possible". And I'm living proof.


8. When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.





9. I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their house have wheels.


10. Once again I refer to you as the nalgas.

11. If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.


12. I am going to bring a more eclectic group of actors and a more eclectic group of musicians from Mana to Santana to Slash and Garth Brooks. I know some pretty high-profile people in Hollywood, in music and in comedy. They all seem to be supportive of the idea.


13. I can't pay her back, but what I can do is make her as happy as she thought I would when we first got married.

14. I don't like the fact that people think Latinos wont vote for an African-American. It's bulls..t. We're going to vote for the right person who can restore faith and hope in this country. Latinos feel disenfranchised. Obama's dream is our dream.

15. So I started to relax and would work on my act eight hours a day, sitting at a desk writing at my grandmother's house, and I would put on Richard Pryor Live on Long Beach and would play it like a loop and think and write.

16. It's an honor to walk in the footsteps of a legend. As host I intend to honor the tradition of The Bob Hope Classic and have a great time blazing a new path.



17. It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.


18. They were putting together a book for her birthday of all her friends, and they asked me to fill out a blank piece of paper and tell her how I felt. I couldn't do it because I have a hard time putting my thoughts on paper, because I'm not a put-it-down-on-paper person. I tell her in person all the time how much she means to me, and I e-mailed her and sent her a huge flower arrangement. Of all the types of shows she could have done, it's amazing that a Latino family show is what she wanted to do. If it was any other kind of show, we would have never met.

19. If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of "America's Next Top Model" in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again…Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred.

20. It was the first corsage I ever bought. I even put on a suit with a pink shirt to match her pink dress. Me and all the fathers were standing there, and the girls were all dancing with their friends!

21. The first night was awful because I was so afraid, and I was never more afraid because it was going out of my character to be outgoing and to be vulnerable and to be out there and onstage. My hands were sweaty and I couldn't swallow, and I drank a bottle of wine to calm my nerves.


22. If laughter is the best medicine, I promise to continue to make you laugh as my wife and I work together with the National Kidney Foundation to save lives.

23. I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.

24. What they have at Chuckie Cheese that we don't have at our house, you wanna see a mouse…stand there…pull the refrigerator out the wall.


25. Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.




26. We're Mexican not Mexican't!




27. I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.

28. When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said ' you wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!


29. I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.




30. I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, traveling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.



31. I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine.


32. I had a very difficult childhood. I was surrounded by people who had both parents, which made me feel different. Having a bit of a rougher existence early on, it made me appreciate the work ethic that my grandparents instilled in me.


33. It means a lot in that I always felt invisible, and I was louder in my own head than I was verbally...I was torturing myself, wanting to say things and not knowing how to be. The stand-up was a way out but it never came easy. So to have something that's named after me make it, and that has history tied to Desi and Freddie and now Freddie Jr., it's unbelievable to me because I never really thought anything good would happen to me.

34. When you go to cable, there are no stations and no affiliates and they allow you to do your show.


35. I actually graze at several of the homes while I'm playing. There a lot of food going on. I drink and eat and use the restrooms in a lot of the houses. What better way to really get closer to the fans than to steal their soap from the restrooms as they allow you to enter their homes?




36. It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.


37. I don't think words can comfort at this time. Just love and support of his family, and for Will to know that millions of people loved his father and mother.




38. I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.

39. The guy is like Honduran-German. Why would you pretend to be (Mexican)?...I think he had that intention from the beginning that he was going to play Mexican.


40. When I look at the Gospel, I see how it is speaking to me at this time. I see how to be to others and it helps.

41. Imagine going in knowing that no Mexican American before you had ever succeeded in a lead role.

42. David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.


43. If the tour had 10 of these, I'd love to play in all 10 of them.






44. I've gotten to a place where I am comfortable and I don't battle myself. I'm further ahead than I ever thought I'd be. I've exceeded everyone's expectations. Including, I think, my own.


45. The putts break toward the diamond lane on the freeway here. I had a putt break toward a call box, so I know it depends on what lane. I missed a two-footer because a guy was changing his tire in my line.

46. I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all.


47. It helps me focus on our Lord and helps me get through the day.


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