Sunday, January 20, 2013

Eddie Murphy Quotes

1. The economy in Ireland has been rampaging ahead for the last 15 years. Barring an international, political or natural catastrophe, things can only get better for the Irish.


2. I've always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself.


3. The thing about kids is that they express emotion. They don't hold back. If they want to cry, they cry, and if they are in a good mood, they're in a good mood.




4. If I don't die in a plane crash or something, this country has a rare opportunity to watch a great talent grow.

5. I don't think more concentration is required for Robert De Niro to do what he does as for Jim Carrey to do what he does.


6. I'd like to produce, direct, write, score, and star in a film in exactly the way Chaplin did. I'll do that before I'm thirty.




7. I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it.


8. I'm relaxed about my career. I've been making movies for over 20 years, so I've earned at least the right to relax.




9. I've made 30 movies and for the most part my movies work. In a business where success is an exception and not the rule, I've mostly been successful.


10. In a movie like this, the relationship between the two guys is crucial. It sinks or swims on how these two guys are together. I think we did a good job.



11. In the original script, my character was a basketball player rather than a boxer. I didn't think I could pull that off. I'm a little short to be a basketball player!


12. You know, making a movie is a collaborative effort and sometimes all the ingredients don't work out. I know that every now and again I am going to make a movie that won't work.


13. I started out as an impressionist and that's all about observing - how people move, their voice quality, their attitudes and quirks.


14. There's something about the ice cream truck that makes kids lose it. And they can hear that shit from ten blocks away. They don't hear their mothers calling but they can hear that m... ice cream truck.

15. Is it just me, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?


16. Apparently every man was told to bring three women with them. Sounds like a ho-down.



17. This is how you answer a door in my neighborhood. WHO IS IT?

18. I want a woman that's going to arouse my intellect as well as my lions.


19. I ain't never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while? I ordered some pizza.


20. Jacuzzi? See, I knew y'all was faggots!



21. This is the cleanest and nicest police car I've ever been in my life. This thing is nicer than my apartment.

22. In reality, all men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives trying to create a masterpiece.


23. Oh, get the f... outta here! Just 'cause I'm a convict, every thin' that comes outta my mouth is a god damn lie?




24. Anything you have to acquire a taste for was not meant to be eaten.

25. I trip off it. You know what's interesting about the makeup is when you get up close and you know he's been working on your face and you see where the makeup starts and it stops and how seamless it is. You could look at it for hours.


26. My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time...


27. I wish people would stop making fun of fat people... they have enough shit on their plates.



28. It sure is a beautiful day. Know why? My wife walked out on me. Isn't that nice? I'm so glad the bitch is gone.

29. It occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is you turn them into poor people.


30. Hey, what about Shrek? He's ugly 24/7!









31. The advice I would give to someone is to not take anyone's advice.

32. That's my idol, Elvis Presley. If you went to my house, you'd see pictures all over of Elvis. He's just the greatest entertainer that ever lived. And I think it's because he had such presence. When Elvis walked into a room, Elvis Presley was in the f... room. I don't give a f... who was in the room with him, Bogart, Marilyn Monroe.


33. The welfare of our children is our main concern and their best interests are our first priority.


34. I would do a scene with a little kid and they'd turn to me afterwards and say: "I love you Eddie Murphy". That's a new thing for me, to have a co-star in a scene turn to me and tell me they love me. In "48 Hours" Nick Nolte never turned to me and said "I love you Ed".

35. It's your aptitude, not just your attitude that determines your ultimate altitude.


36. I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows.









37. The white man gets all the best catchphrases!

38. Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And f... you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe.


39. I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers. Smiling at you. If I ain't have no bulge, I wouldn't be smiling!






40. White people can't dance. I'm not being racist it's true. Just like when white people say black people have big lips, it's not racist it's true. Black people have big lips, white people can't dance. Some brothers will be in the club and white people are like: "What are those niggers doing in here?" They watchin' y'all dance. And they're like: "Look at these crazy m...". Y'all be stepping on people's feet and hitting one another.


41. Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he still couldn't make me laugh.






42. I'm sadistic. I go to the supermarket to watch mothers lose it and beat the shit out of their kids.

43. It's important to spend time with them... I want my grandchildren to be brought up the same way I raised my children.


44. Every bad decision I've ever made has been based on money. I grew up in the projects and you don't turn down money there. You take it, because you never know when it's all going to end. I made Cop III because they offered me $15 million. That $15 million was worth having Roger Ebert's thumb up my ass.




45. I never had inspirations to be in this movie business. I was always a stand up comedian, that's what I am more than anything.


46. Now, a brother's dick is too big, so it'll f... up his balance... Every time you see a brother in a wheelchair, he ain't always crippled.








47. White boys always get the Oscar. It's a known fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No! You know why? Cause I hadn't played any of them slave roles, and get my ass whipped. That's how you get the nomination. A black dude who plays a slave that gets his ass whipped gets the nomination, a white guy who plays an idiot gets the Oscar. That's what I need, I need to play a retarded slave, then I'll get the Oscar.


48. Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going: "You got some big-ass lips!"







49. There's a song out now called "Ain't Nothing Going On But The Rent". So when a man asks a woman: "Hey, baby! What's going on?" The woman will say: "The rent, m... !"


50. There was a lot of stuff where we were doing scenes and we would bust out laughing - more on this movie than ever, where you can't finish scenes. I hope we didn't mess up the movie.

51. The competitions are as much a part of the tradition as the actual dances.

52. I think in twenty years I'll be looked at like Bob Hope. Doing those president jokes and golf shit. It scares me.

53. I keep telling people I'll make movies until I'm fifty and then I'll go and do something else. I'm going to be a professional gentleman of leisure.


54. The only reason I did "Showtime" was Robert De Niro. I definitely consider him to be in the top 5 all time actors.







55. I'm in a whole different part of show business. I'm not even part of "Shakespeare in Love".

56. Being single has changed drastically with my age. A lot of things are different. Especially being single now. Because when I used to go out in the old days I was the cool dude in the club with the glasses on in the corner. You can't do that when you're 49. You got your glasses on in the corner and you look creepy. A lot has changed.



What do you think of Eddie Murphy's quotes?



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